On The Cloud Pod this week, Ryan has given all his money to the Amazon press team to write really confusing headlines just to annoy Peter. Also, Jonathan is missing presumed cranky buns. 

A big thanks to this week’s sponsors:

• Foghorn Consulting, which provides full-stack cloud solutions with a focus on strategy, planning and execution for enterprises seeking to take advantage of the transformative capabilities of AWS, Google Cloud and Azure.

This week’s highlights

• 🚨 IBM is spinning off its infrastructure services business — the new public company will be called “Kyndryl.”
• 🚨 Teresa Carlson has left the AWS building. The AWS VP is headed to big-data analytics company Splunk Inc. as its new chief growth officer.
• 🚨 Google’s like the cool kids who know how to party.

General News: Eventual Degradation of Profits

• 🤣 IBM to name its infrastructure services business “Kyndryl”. We hope they didn’t spend a lot of money coming up with that name. 
• 🤷 Top AWS executive Teresa Carlson joins Splunk as President and Chief Growth Officer. We thought she might have been a candidate to succeed Andy Jassy.

Amazon Web Services: 5G Not Included

• 👂 AWS formally launches the OpenSearch project. Seems like it’s listened to the open source feedback.    
• 🚽 Amazon EC2 Auto Scaling introduces Warm Pools to accelerate scale-out while saving money. Please don’t let Andy name anything.
• 🧑‍🤝‍🧑 AWS and Verizon team up to provide 5G-powered edge computing infrastructure. Justin got his COVID-19 vaccination and was disappointed it didn’t come with 5G.   
• 🎅 Amazon Redshift now supports data sharing when producer clusters are paused. We wonder what underlying tech made this possible? 

Google Cloud Platform: Excel at No Code

• 🍃 Leaf Space enables next-gen satellites on Google Cloud. This fills a very obvious gap in the market and is pretty cool. 
• 🤓 Google introduces a new blog series: Cloud CISO perspectives. Hopefully some cool stuff will be announced. 
• 💻 Google announces its business process automation app AppSheet is now generally available. We feel bad for the poor sap that has to maintain this on the backend.  

Oracle: Answering Questions That Haven’t Been Asked

• 🌪️ Oracle releases new features for its Cloud Infrastructure Mobile app. None of the providers really do an amazing job of cloud mobile apps.  

TCP Lightning Round

⚡ Though he won’t be quitting his day job for the comedy club circuit, Justin produces some gold to take this week’s point, leaving scores at Justin (6), Ryan (3), Jonathan (5). 

Other headlines mentioned:

• eksctl now supports creating node groups using resource specifications and dry run mode
• Amazon Athena now presents query execution plans to aid tuning
• AWS Step Functions adds new data flow simulator for modelling input and output processing  
• Amazon Textract announces quality updates to its tables extraction feature
• Internet Group Management Protocol (IGMP) Multicast on AWS Transit Gateway is now available in major AWS regions worldwide
• General availability: Azure Blob storage supports objects up to 200 TB in size
• New digital rewards and racer profile personalization features on the AWS DeepRacer console
• AWS Identity and Access Management now makes it easier to relate a user’s IAM role activity to their corporate identity
• AWS Control Tower introduces changes to preventive S3 guardrails and updates to S3 bucket encryption protocols
• Amazon FSx and AWS Backup announce support for copying file system backups across AWS Regions and AWS accounts
• Introducing SAP Integration with Google Cloud Data Fusion

 Things Coming Up

• Discover cloud storage solutions at Azure Storage Day — April 29
• Save the date: AWS Containers events in May
• AWS Regional Summits — May 10–19
• AWS Summit Online Americas — May 12–13
• Microsoft Build — May 19–21 (Digital)
• Google Financial Services Summit — May 27th 
• Harness Unscripted Conference — June 16–17
• Google Cloud Next — Not announced yet (one site says Moscone is reserved June 28–30)
• Google Cloud Next 2021 — October 12–14, 2021
• AWS re:Invent — November 29–December 3 — Las Vegas
• Oracle Open World (no details yet)